Polish
by Nanomemes
Summary: Kyo explains to Heidern why he's drowning Iori in the locker room sink. [COMPLETE]
1. Footsies

_Don't think too hard about my titles. Because I don't think too hard about them either._

 _I need to stop writing these. I think i have issues_

* * *

*Clack, Clack*

*Clack, Clack*

*Thump*

Two tall polished boots halted with a click of their heels. Inside these boots stood a tall, imposing man in full military regalia. This man was standing in the hallway outside of the facilities men's locker room, looking very slightly peeved.

He was actually very peeved.

His two guests weren't answering their pagers, and he needed them at briefing.

He rapped politely at the door. The only response he heard was gurgling. The man closed his eyes and exhaled forcefully through his nose.

Heidern had been a soldier a long time.

All his life, he had practiced the methods of destruction. Assassinations, covert strikes, kidnappings, infiltrations - were all familiar paths. Now, as the world changed, so did warfare. Information operations, hacking, propaganda even terrorism. Nothing was taboo, anything was offered for the right price. Ikari was not an ethical corporation. It was an entity created for the sake of waging warfare. They had no preferences or concerns of their own. Their goals were the goals of the highest bidder. That was how private military corporations worked.

Despite his company's philosophy, there was one thing that Heidern set aside special concern for. After Rugal was slain, one great enemy still remained.

The enemy of all mankind. The spirit of the earth which would sweep away all human achievement. The demon Orochi. It would destroy the world man had built, and Heidern - who had spent his whole life destroying - was now determined to preserve the legacy of Man.

This proved no easy task.

Ikari was a powerful organization. So powerful that they commanded the attention of entire governments. And yet, they couldn't do anything about their commander's special concern. Orochi was untouchable. After months of meticulous planning, trial runs, special training, Ikari troops found themselves completely outclassed and underequipped. Bullets phased right through the demon. Air strikes, missiles, grenades, chemical weapons, nothing could touch it. Nothing worked. Nothing could avert that terrible calamity.

Nothing but two fire-spitting delinquents and a young businesswomen.

Of course, Heidern was glad the disaster was averted, but he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.

He had actually been immensely disappointed.

But, like any good soldier, he set aside his emotions and attempted to ally himself with the three 'treasures'. Only Chizuru, the businesswoman, would even speak to him. The other two had immediately preoccupied themselves with murdering each other.

Five years later, today, Chizuru had called, reporting the weakening of Orochi's seal. Heidern suspected foul play. Perhaps the strange phenomenon in Florida was associated with Orochi? He had to be sure.

Leona had taken the liberty to helicopter the fiery duo into the base a couple of days ago… and just like that, he was temporarily housing Kyo Kusanagi and Iori Yagami in his joint Ikari- US ARMY base.

And he needed them upstairs for briefing.

"Kusanagi! Yagami! I need you in the command room, Now."

The gurgling stopped. He heard the sound of running water. A voice called out, "Yeah, just give us a sec okay?"

'Very peeved' blossomed into something akin to anger. Heidern didn't consider himself a particularly patient man. He was a military commander, not a babysitter. When he gave orders, people scrambled to fulfill them. And nobody, _nobody_ , dared to make him wait, especially over something so trivial that it could be accomplished in a locker room.

He shoved open the door and marched in. If these two weren't so integral to defeating Orochi, Heidern would have nothing to do with them. He wanted nothing more than to book them on the next flight to Japan, but Orochi might be involved, and Heidern was determined to conduct a thorough investigation.

"You two! Get!"

Two figures were standing ahead, both were leaned over the sink counter. They were wearing standard military issue cargo-pants and shirts - as was required here - and seemed to be staring intently at something in the drain.

"Hey!"

The sound of running water was punctuated only by the noise of bubbling and sloshing. There was water everywhere. It looked like they had been splashing around in it.

Kyo stood straight, then turned to look at the commander. He wiped wet bangs to the side and raised a hand in brief greeting. He smiled nonchalantly.

Iori didn't even raise his head.

Because his head was submerged underwater. Kyo was holding him by the neck, and was pressing his face into the base of the sink. The tap was still on, and water was overflowing onto the floor.

Iori gurgled. Kyo grinned.

"Hey Commander. What's-"

Heidern flew at them.

* * *

 _Kyo casually drowning ppls_

 _reveiw pls tkx. prob next chappie tomorrow. I haven't finished writing this one yet but im guessing two to three chapters, give or take. It's gonna be a short one._

 _Not my typical stuff. It's less funny, and more of a relationship counseling session lol._

 _All chars are consistant over all my stories. so don't worry about gay stuff._

 _Because there's none._


	2. Two minutes and twelve seconds

_How adoreable._

 _Just a heads up. The focus of this fic isn't really humor. So don't expect stuff to blow up like usual._

 _Review pls. i luv u._

* * *

As a celebrated military operative who excelled in hand to hand combat, it was no difficult task for Heidern to shove Kyo aside, and pull Iori out of the water.

Kyo seemed surprised that Heidern stopped his attempted murder, and stood beside the hand dryers looking discontented. He hit a button on his pager, crossed his arms, and leaned against the wall.

The commander never thought he'd see the day Kyo Kusanagi tried to kill someone - even Iori - with a smile on his face. He was a fierce fighter and plenty violent, but he was no sadist. Many thoughts flew through the commander's mind as he lowered a sputtering Iori to the floor. One of them was concerning Kusanagi's sanity. _Has he finally snapped?_

"Kusanagi. What do you think you're do-"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!"

The half drowned redhead began screeching at his rescuer as soon as he coughed the liquid out of his lungs. He shoved Heidern away, scrambled to his feet, and lurched over to his rival.

"What's my time?"

"A minute thirty-four."

"Fuck that. This one doesn't count. Do it again."

"Ha. Aight. You're not gonna beat me you know?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Iori staggered to the counter and took a few moments to catch his breath before plunging back into the sink at the count of three. Kyo started the timer on the pager and leaned over to hold him there by the base of the neck. Heidern was taken aback.

No. He was completely flabbergasted. Just what the hell was going on?

This little contest they were having… It was a dangerous game for friends to play. It was _extremely_ dangerous for enemies to play. In this situation, it would be trivially easy for one to murder the other. If Kyo wanted to get rid of his rival, all he needed to do was hold the redhead under for a few seconds longer, and that would be it. Done.

Which was all well and good. Idiots murdered each other all the time - Darwin's law at work in the gene pool. Heidern would be happy to let them play to their hearts content, except that if he wanted any chance in combat against Orochi, he needed both of them alive.

"I asked for both of you to be in the command center at 1600 sharp. What makes you think this is a good time to drown each other?"

"Sorry Commander, just give him two minutes. Otherwise he'll never shut up about it."

Heidern didn't doubt it. Iori had built quite a reputation for himself over the years. He was ridiculously stubborn, and seemed to exclusively make bad choices. If he decided he wanted to drown in a sink, by god, he would get it done against any and all circumstances. He wasn't stupid. He just… wasn't 'all there'.

The Blood Riot did that to a person. At any given moment, his attention would be split between the issue at hand, and the voices who vied for control over him. Leona suffered under the same affliction. Except instead of exhibiting symptoms of insanity, she just came off as terribly shy.

Kyo suffered no such handicap. He behaved immaturely, but displayed an impressive insightfulness. He usually was well aware of danger and behaved accordingly. _Usually._

That's why Heidern couldn't picture, for even a moment, Kyo allowing his maniac rival the opportunity to unceremoniously drown him - in a locker room sink, no less!

But here he was, a sopping wet, _living_ , participant of the most dangerous game on earth.

 _What is wrong with the kids these days...? Should I beat some sense into them? A pity they're not enlisted, I'd straighten them out in a week…. They'd be quite an asset in field missions as well… Hm…_

"Clark said he could hold his breath for two minutes and thirty seconds."

Heidern slowly turned his gaze to the speaker. He briefly considered shouting at them, but decided against it. The three 'treasures' were his most valuable asset in his campaign against Orochi. He would bear their disrespect for the time being, just so they wouldn't refuse to help when he needed them. _Lose the battle to win the war._

"... Clark was a Navy SEAL."

"Yeah, that's what he told us. I got two eleven though."

"You let Yagami hold you under?"

"Yeah... what's wrong?"

The shadow of complete disbelief passed over the commander's stony visage. He walked over to the sink counter and crossed his arms over his chest. He briefly bemoaned his situation. It seemed the two people he needed to keep alive had been struck with a severe case of suicidal insanity. He needed to keep an eye on them… maybe throw them in the padded cell until they could prove they could exercise common sense.

"... You're lucky to be alive. Don't do it again."

Kyo laughed. "Lucky? Nah. Yagami would never kill me. He just likes to talk big."

 _Are you kidding me?_

"Yagami nearly killed you last year. You'd be a fool to not take precautions."

"That was the Blood Riot. It's fine when he's normal."

Heidern was becoming frustrated. Kyo's behavior was excessively dangerous, and his status as 'Kusanagi' forced the commander to worry over his survival. The Blood Riot was a spontaneous phenomenon, it struck it victims whenever Orochi exuded his influence. There was never a guarantee that he wouldn't snap. He could even begin 'Rioting' at this very moment.

Ikari's commander shut his eye.

"I need you both alive. Don't put yourself in unnecessary danger. Stay away from each other."

"Sheesh, It's not dangero-"

"That's an order Kusanagi."

"..."

Kyo stopped laughing abruptly. The atmosphere suddenly became serious. He turned to fix a the commander with a severe gaze.

"Commander, has anyone ever saved your life?"

* * *

 _Okay, the chapter transition between ch2 and 3 is really weird because I just split the story in half. It was too long for a single chapter._

 _Everyone thinks Kyo and Irio are insane. Chizuru, now Heidern lol._

 _It's Kyo storytime._

 _Pagers don't have built in timers. I made that up._

 _Navy seals spend a lot of time in the water. A lot of them can hold their breath for 2+ mins. I clock in at like 1 min lol._


	3. Zillion

_woo. Lame segway. Notes at end._

* * *

"Commander, has anyone ever saved your life?"

Heidern was startled by the strange turn in the conversation. Kyo had fixed him with a wide-eyed stare, awaiting his answer. The commander sighed internally and decided to play along.

"... Yes. Of course."

"What do you think of them?"

"... how do you mean?"

Kyo turned back toward the mirror.

"I mean, if somebody saved your life, you'll trust them afterwards, right?"

"Not Yagami. Don't be stupid."

Kyo shrugged, then turned his head and pushed the hair away from his left ear. There was a large scar that travelled across the side of his head and down into the base of his neck.

"That's from NESTS. They had me for six months. Really did a number on me."

"I heard."

"Then one day, I wake up. The whole place is on fire. I yank all the needles and stuff out and bust my way outta there. It was a really surreal experience. I think I was high on something too. Seeing dead clones of myself everywhere wasn't really helping."

"The Brazilian base. We did recon on the locale afterwards."

Kyo stared intently at the mirror as he spoke. Iori was gurgling more violently. Heidern was becoming worried for his safety.

"Who do you think was the first person I saw while wandering the base?"

"Hm. Yagami was crushing bases in South America for a few months prior to your extraction, supposably looking for you-"

"Not Yagami."

"..."

A sneer overshadowed Kyo's face. There was anger in his eyes.

"The first person I saw when I woke up was the NESTS boss, holding _this guy's_ fucking corpse." Kyo indicated toward his rival. "This idiot _literally_ died trying to save me. Somebody had shattered his arm and stopped his heart. The NESTS' guy throws his body at me and starts spouting shit like, ' _Come quietly, or we'll kill you too!'_ "

"... I see."

"I was all torn to shit from whatever that lab put me through, and there was no way I was going to beat that guy myself. It literally hurt to breathe, and my flames weren't cooperating." Kyo glowered at the mirror. " I managed to revive Yagami mid-fight. Used the NESTS' guy's electrical attack to restart his heart. I'm still shocked it worked."

"..."

"The rest is history. We kill the NESTS guy, and the place starts to blow up. I had to carry Yagami out of there. He was all jacked up from being dead and couldn't run for shit."

A snort escaped Kyo's nostrils and he grinned.

"So we're laying on the rocks outside the exploded base and I offer to fight him to the death... I mean, as a 'thank you'. It's all he ever wants to do anyways."

"You two fought?"

"No. He left. Well, he _did_ agree to fight me - we set the time and day and everything. He told me to ' _get well soon_ ', and just didn't show up to the agreed spot. Bastard stood me up. I just flew home afterwards."

Kyo stared down at the back of Iori's head. "Later, I found out everyone had stopped looking for me within two weeks of my disappearance. NESTS had filed some generic death report for me. Nobody stayed suspicious too long. My family, friends, everyone, after two weeks of looking into it, they gave up. They had even held a funeral for me. I mean, I don't blame them. I was being held in maximum security anyways. I'd still be there if Yagami didn't come for me."

Iori was sputtering more now. Kyo seemed to be lost in thought. Heidern was preparing to yank the red haired man out of the sink again.

"My friends mourned for me, but not this guy. Instead, he took a one way flight down to Peru and started wrecking NESTS' shit. K' must have been thrilled. He made his way all the way across the continent - to Brazil before he died on my doorstep."

"He said he wanted to kill you himself... Hey watch-"

"Ha! Do you believe that for even one second? Nah. He's crazy, but not that crazy. Normally he's the bane of my life. But when shit really hits the fan, he's the best friend I've got. We both know he'd never kill me, not in a million years… I mean, unless Riot shows up. But it's pretty obvious when he does. I know his attack patterns now anyways, so it's not a big deal."

Heidern noticed that Iori was insistently digging his nails into Kyo's arm. The stream of bubbles that flowed from his nose had grown worryingly thin.

"That's all very charming, but you're going to drown him."

"... Oh Shit."

* * *

 _Aww. That was the most bromantic drowning I've ever seen. Kyo's so sweet._

 _I usually put less effort into writing these short pieces than my main one, so the writing is a bit lower quality. If the writing is too shitty for you, than tell me. I can do a quick rewrite if nescessary._

 _The events Kyo recounted are (not*) Canon (Dammit Rex. I wanted it to be true so bad_ TT^TT _). They are depicted in the 'King of Fighters Zillion' manhua by Andy Seto, which you can find and read for free (in english) at a website called KofWorld. They're working on translating it._

 _Im planning a short epilogue, just to cap stuff off (like 200 words lol). Expect it sometime tomorrow._

 _To all the reviewers who wanted Heidern to wreck Kyo+Iori's shit.: I'll do it later. Everyone loves to hate on these two lol. #comeheremybabies #IllProtectU_

 _oh. leav review pls -_


	4. Epilogue: Resurface

_I was considering killing Ioir for the keks. but since this story fits in a timeline i'm making, it would really fk stuff up._

 _Thanks JojoDo for chap title._

 _Sorry for not having Heidern beat the shit out of Yagami for being an idiot. I hope this makes up for it. #yagmybby_

 _*lol tmw when you almost die, and still lose. gg._

* * *

Kyo looked very slightly embarrassed as Iori crouched on the floor retching. A great amount of water dripped from his face and pooled on the tiled floor. Heidern stood opposite him with his arms crossed. He opened his mouth the give orders.

"Yagami. Kusanagi. Upstairs. Now. No more wasting-"

"Time! Kusanagi! What's my time!"

Kyo grinned sheepishly at the commander. Heidern glowered at the half-drowned idiot who dared interrupt him. Now that nobody's life was in danger, he was free to take more drastic measures.

"... Sorry dude. Two ten. I beat you by a second."

"... Shit! One more time! I'm going to- What the hell!"

Iori barely slipped past a swift strike to the back of his neck. He whirled around to face Heidern and began snarling.

The commander was an old soldier. He exuded experience - and he knew how to be prepared. Back when Leona was participating in the KOF tournament, he had analyzed and picked apart each of the participating fighters' styles for her. He would provide her with all the information necessary for her to win.

Iori's Yasakani style was fairly typical. However, he remained the most troublesome contestant. His fighting instinct made him nearly impossible to hit. The ultra-offensive Yasakani style made it difficult to defend. He consistently dodged strikes like magic, even from blind spots. Heidern had therefore he spent many hours studying him.

"Heidern! You-"

The trick was to trigger the 'instinct' with feints. It was an easy thing to say. It was extremely difficult to pull off.

But Heidern was an old soldier.

As Iori swung to face him, the commander struck his pivot leg at the knee with a low kick. The redhead slipped, screeching, on the wet floor. He twisted to dodge an elbow feint as he fell, then promptly bashed himself unconscious on the commander's knee.

He fell to the floor with a heavy _thud_ , a nasty bruise forming on his temple.

"..."

Kyo stared wide-eyed at the commander. He was at a loss for words. Which was fine. Heidern was done listening for today. It was his turn to do the talking. And by god, these two were going to listen to him.

"Pick him up. Follow me."

Heidern turned on his heel, and marched out. The Fiery duo trailed behind him like a pair of wet dogs.

* * *

 _oof what a badass. That's one way to teach respect lol. At least Kyo calls him 'Commander'. Iori just doesn't care and calls him 'Heidern'. Please respect military personell._

 _Ikari is pretty much MGS Diamond Dogs. I always imagined Heidern to be like Big Boss- just this ridiculously capable guy. I love Metal gear btw. Raiden is that world's version of Iori. the angsty, crazy, really freaking deadly, guy._

 _Somebody name this chapter. Leave a title in the review. First person who suggests one get's it. (Jojo gets it)_

 _(Lol please just write somehting in the review. im so lonely)_

Hope you enjoyed. This is the last installment. I just love these little short things. But since they're all based on my main story, I fear if I go too crazy with these, they'll mess up my plot over there.


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